Teen slang is constantly evolving, and it can be challenging for adults to keep up. Just when you think you’ve decoded one term, another pops up, often with meanings that can be surprisingly hurtful. One such term making waves online and in schools is “bop.” While it might sound innocuous, “bop,” “lala bop,” or “school bop” is actually a form of modern-day slut-shaming that’s causing significant distress among teenagers and tweens.
If you’re unfamiliar with the term “bop,” you’re not alone. Many parents, educators, and even experts are just now becoming aware of its meaning and implications. Dr. Dawn Bounds, a PhD and Assistant Professor at the University of California, Irvine Sue & Bill Gross School of Nursing, specializing in social media and adolescent mental health, admitted even she had to research it. What she discovered was deeply concerning.
According to Dr. Bounds, “a ‘bop’ is a person who [teens] claim has had sex with multiple people.” However, this isn’t just name-calling behind someone’s back. The “bop” trend often involves public accusations and supposed “digital proof” shared online, regardless of whether that proof is real, misinterpreted, or completely fabricated. This online shaming can have a devastating impact on young people.
Decoding “Bop”: Slang as a Weapon of Slut-Shaming
The slang term “bop” is explicitly used to shame individuals, predominantly young women, by labeling them as promiscuous based on assumptions about their sexual activity. Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer at Bark Technologies and co-author of Parenting in a Tech World, sheds light on the origins of this troubling trend. “It started in late 2022, when a TikTok user posted a song called ‘Lala Bop.’ This song has since been used in call-out videos that shame people for allegedly dating around or being promiscuous,” Jordan explained to Parents.
Dr. Bounds elaborates on how this trend proliferates on social media platforms like TikTok. “The post often includes a picture of the person a TikTok user is shaming and claims that this person sleeps around and/or that they engaged in other sexual acts with a specific number of people,” she says. This targeted online humiliation is a clear instance of slut-shaming, a damaging practice that reinforces harmful double standards concerning sexuality, especially for young women.
Understanding Slut-Shaming: A Deeper Look
Slut-shaming is fundamentally the act of criticizing or belittling someone for their actual or perceived sexual behavior. It’s a form of social control, often rooted in sexism and misogyny, that aims to police and punish individuals, particularly women, who deviate from traditional or conservative sexual norms.
In the context of “bop,” the targets are overwhelmingly young girls. “It implies that they have a high ‘body count,’ which is slang for how many people someone has hooked up with,” explains Jordan. Disturbingly, these “bop” accusations are frequently baseless rumors. They can be malicious gossip disguised as social commentary, causing immense emotional damage to the targeted individuals.
These videos are not just harmless jokes; they constitute cyberbullying and should be treated with seriousness. “As with the downside of social media, this trend seems to be another way to bully, shame, or exclude someone, which can have a negative impact on that person’s social and mental well-being,” Dr. Bounds emphasizes.
A quick search for “bop” or “school bop” on social media platforms reveals countless examples of this trend in action. One video, for instance, depicts two high school students acting out a scenario where a boy is “caught” talking to the so-called “school bop.” The clip portrays the boy sneaking around with the accused girl, feigning disinterest while sarcastically remarking, “How is she a bop? She has 66 bodies—it’s average.” Such videos mock not only the victims but also those who associate with individuals targeted by this online harassment.
However, amidst this negativity, some young people are demonstrating resilience by pushing back against the “bop” label. They are creating their own videos to challenge their accusers and reclaim their narrative. Dr. Bounds acknowledges the effectiveness of these counter-videos for those who feel empowered to speak out.
“Not everyone will have the confidence or courage to make a counter video and for those teens, this is where support from friends, family, and other positive people are needed,” she advises. Encouragingly, there’s growing backlash against the “bop” trend, with many condemning it as cruel and demanding its cessation.
The Detrimental Impact of the ‘Bop’ Slang Trend
The “bop” slang trend is far from being a lighthearted joke; it firmly falls under the umbrella of cyberbullying. It’s a form of public shaming that targets and humiliates individuals, often without any factual basis. Here’s a closer look at why this trend is so damaging:
Public Shaming and Lasting Humiliation
Unlike private teasing or rumors, “bop” accusations are broadcast to a vast audience online, potentially reaching hundreds or thousands of people. The inherent permanence of social media means these shaming posts can haunt the targeted person long after the initial video gains traction. This can lead to enduring embarrassment and significant social repercussions, affecting their reputation and relationships.
Spread of Misinformation and False Accusations
A significant portion of “school bop” videos rely on rumors or outright lies. Individuals are frequently labeled as “bops” out of spite, jealousy, or simply as a cruel joke, completely devoid of actual evidence. These false accusations can spread rapidly through social networks, causing immense and unwarranted damage to the victim’s reputation and emotional well-being.
Severe Emotional and Psychological Consequences
Being branded a “bop” can trigger serious mental health issues. Victims of online shaming often grapple with anxiety, depression, diminished self-esteem, and in severe cases, even suicidal thoughts. Research consistently shows that cyberbullying elevates stress levels, impairs concentration in school, and leads to social withdrawal. The constant fear of online ridicule can also make teenagers hesitant to engage with peers, hindering their crucial social development.
Reinforcement of Harmful Gender Stereotypes
The “bop” slang term disproportionately targets young girls, perpetuating outdated and sexist views on female sexuality. While boys engaging in similar behaviors might be praised or considered “cool,” girls are often shamed and negatively labeled. This blatant double standard reinforces harmful gender norms, shaping young people’s perceptions of relationships, self-worth, and body image in detrimental ways.
Cultivating a Culture of Online Harassment
These “bop” videos don’t just shame individuals in isolation; they actively invite others to participate in the bullying. Comments, likes, and shares amplify the harassment, making the victim feel increasingly isolated and vulnerable. This creates a toxic online environment where cruelty and negativity are normalized and even encouraged.
How Parents Can Effectively Support Their Children
While eradicating harmful trends like “bop” takes time and collective effort, parents can take proactive steps to support their children who may be affected by this damaging slang.
Titania Jordan recommends parents begin by watching a “bop” video with their child. While it might be uncomfortable, this crucial step allows parents to fully grasp the nature and extent of the bullying their child might be facing.
Following this, ensure your teenager knows how to report harmful content to the specific social media platform where it’s occurring. Empowering them with this knowledge sends a powerful message that they don’t have to passively endure online bullying and that they have agency in protecting themselves.
It’s paramount for teenagers to feel supported and understood, especially when navigating online harassment. “Let them know you love them unconditionally, this storm will pass, and talk through the other options you have available to you, including anonymously reporting the behavior to school authorities,” Jordan advises. Reassure them that they are valued and that this online negativity does not define their worth.
In situations where a social media trend threatens a teen’s well-being, parents can transform it into a valuable teachable moment. “Discuss the lasting implications of hurtful words, gossip, videos, or memes posted on social media,” Jordan suggests. Emphasize the long-term consequences of online actions and the importance of digital responsibility.
Fostering Healthy Online Boundaries
Helping children develop healthy online boundaries is crucial for navigating the complexities of social media. Jordan recommends discussing these three key areas with your teen, prompting reflection with relevant questions:
- Consent: Initiate a conversation about online consent. Ask: “Do you think someone has the right to post a video referring to someone as a ‘bop’?” This encourages critical thinking about privacy, respect, and the ethics of online sharing.
- Digital Literacy: Enhance their digital literacy skills. Ask: “How do you know if the person is actually being criticized fairly? Could someone be making up damaging stories about someone? Why would they do that?” This promotes media literacy and the ability to discern fact from fiction online.
- Judgment: Encourage critical thinking about judgment and social norms. Ask: “Who is to judge whether someone’s behavior is ‘bad’ or deserving of facing the stigma of being labeled a ‘bop’?” This fosters independent thinking and challenges the validity of online mob mentality.
Dr. Bounds further advises parents on communicating with teens about rapidly evolving social media trends like “bop.” “When it comes to the internet, parents should explain that everything teens see or hear may not be real, but that the consequences of trends like these can be very real and permanent,” she states. Emphasize the distinction between online portrayals and reality, while acknowledging the tangible impact of online trends on mental health and well-being. “When it comes to sex and our bodies it is important to discuss the risks of sharing ourselves with anyone online or in person and the permanency of those decisions.” Open communication about sensitive topics like sex and online safety is crucial.
Dr. Bounds also highlights the teachable moment presented by the rise of derogatory terms like “bop.” “Not only is it an opportunity to talk about sex and social media use, but it is also an opportunity to explore their friend dynamics and mental health,” she explains. “Take some time and ask how they feel about the trend, how they’re feeling in general, and how they’re feeling about their relationships both romantic and platonic.” Use this as an opportunity to foster open dialogue about their emotional landscape and social connections.
If you suspect your child is engaging in bullying behavior related to this trend, immediate action is necessary. “The most important thing to do is sit down and communicate. Listen to your child’s side of the story and see how they react. Stress that you love them, but that their bullying behavior will have to change,” Jordan advises. Address the behavior directly while reinforcing your unconditional love and support, guiding them towards more empathetic and responsible online interactions.
By understanding the meaning and harmful nature of “bop,” and by taking proactive steps to support and educate young people, we can collectively work towards mitigating the negative impact of this and similar damaging online trends.
