What Goes Around Comes Around: Living a Life of Service and Kindness

Introduction

In our journey through life, we often encounter profound lessons from unexpected sources. For me, one of the most enduring life lessons came from my parents, particularly my father. Growing up, I didn’t fully grasp the depth of their values, especially as they weren’t overtly religious. It was only later, when I embarked on my mission, that I realized the exceptional upbringing I had. Not all parents instill in their children the importance of kindness, aspiration, and resilience. I was fortunate to be raised in a home filled with love, encouragement, and unwavering support. My parents set high standards, but more importantly, they taught me how to learn from my failures, to get back up, and to keep moving forward. From them, I absorbed the essence of a Christian life, and it was my father’s actions, more than his words, that truly exemplified this. He lived by a simple yet powerful philosophy, one that has resonated with me throughout my life: What Goes Around Comes Around. This principle wasn’t just a saying for him; it was a way of life.

A Father’s Example of Unconditional Service

My father was the embodiment of selfless service. He possessed an innate inability to ignore anyone in need. I vividly recall a family trip to Bear Lake, a much-anticipated weekend getaway promising clear waters and water sports. Our usual route took us through Evanston, Wyoming. About twenty miles shy of Evanston, on a divided highway, my father spotted a man frantically waving for help on the opposite side. Without hesitation, my father, true to his nature, turned our car around. He drove five miles to find a turnaround, then another five miles back to the stranded man. We picked up the man, who had run out of gas, drove five miles in the opposite direction again, turned around, and finally drove the twenty-five miles to Evanston. There, he helped the man get gas and drove him back to his car.

As a typical impatient teenager, I was seething at the delay. Once we were finally back on track, I questioned my dad about his detour. Surely, I argued, someone else would have stopped to help. Why go so far out of our way? His response was simple and direct: “What goes around comes around.” Seeing my confused expression, he elaborated, “I believe that someday, you or I might be the ones stranded on the side of the road, needing help, and someone will return the favor.” Ever the skeptical teenager, I retorted, “I seriously doubt it.” Yet, his words and actions that day planted a seed in my mind, a seed that would eventually blossom into understanding.

Service Given, Service Received: The Flaming Gorge Lesson

Over the years, I often pondered my father’s mantra, “what goes around comes around.” I admired his unwavering commitment to it, but I confess, I remained somewhat doubtful. It wasn’t until years later, during a memorable trip to Flaming Gorge Reservoir, that I truly witnessed the truth of his words in action. This trip is etched in my memory because it began on Friday the thirteenth. As the only child still at home, I looked forward to a special weekend getaway with my parents, fishing at our favorite spot.

We had a small cabin cruiser, maybe fifteen feet long, cozy enough for three if someone (usually me) slept on the floor. We launched our boat at Sheep Creek Marina, aiming to venture as far north as possible, spend the weekend on the water, and hopefully catch our limit of fish. Humorously acknowledging the date, we joked about it being Friday the thirteenth. Little did we know how significant that date would become.

Friday started uneventfully. We cruised towards the Wyoming side of the reservoir and fished for a while. The fishing was lackluster, but the joy of being together on the boat in such a stunning location was more than enough. Suddenly, my father pointed to the distant shore. “Look,” he said, “there’s a man on the far shore waving at us.” I squinted, barely able to make out a figure. We decided to reel in our lines and investigate. As we approached, we could see the man waving more emphatically. Oddly, he was standing on a desolate hillside with no other boats in sight. As we drew closer, he gestured for us to follow him around a bend into a secluded cove. Rounding the corner, I was astonished to see a magnificent yacht, far larger than our little boat, beached on the shore.

The man greeted us with profuse thanks. His yacht’s battery was dead, and he was desperate for help. We readily assisted, and soon, the yacht’s powerful engine roared back to life. The man and his family were incredibly grateful. We had lost an hour of fishing time, but we felt good about helping someone in need and were soon back on the reservoir, lines in the water.

The next day, Saturday the fourteenth, the fishing remained poor. Disappointed, we decided to head back to the marina. About two miles from our destination, a strong headwind arose, significantly slowing our progress. Waves began to build, and then, our engine sputtered and died. We tried everything to restart it, but it was no use. My father, a skilled DIY enthusiast who had even built our cabin cruiser from a hull, usually could fix anything mechanical. But this time, the engine remained stubbornly silent.

Amidst our frustrating attempts to restart the outboard motor, an unexpected sight appeared: the yacht we had helped the previous day was approaching us. Never had I been so happy to see anyone! Flaming Gorge is vast, and we had been out on the water for two days. It seemed miraculous that of all the boats on the reservoir, it was the very person we had assisted who found us in need. He offered to tow us back to the marina, which was still a considerable distance away. We gratefully accepted.

Towed behind this behemoth of a boat, we made steady progress. We could almost see the marina when, unbelievably, the yacht’s engine also died. We checked fuel lines, filters – everything. But the yacht’s engine was as lifeless as ours. It was indeed a Friday-the-thirteenth-weekend kind of luck! Even the yacht’s small trolling motor refused to start.

Meanwhile, the wind had intensified into a gale, pushing us further and further away from the marina. The marina was now barely visible in the distance as my father and “Mr. Yacht Guy” worked on their respective engines – three motors in total, all refusing to cooperate. Just when our situation seemed truly dire, a small, open-bow aluminum fishing boat, maybe twelve feet long, chugged towards us. An elderly couple manned the tiny vessel. I was taken aback, especially by the wife, who was impeccably made up, pancake makeup surprisingly intact despite the wind. What were these two doing out here in this tiny boat in such rough conditions?

The old gentleman offered to tow us in. I was incredulous. He attached a line to the massive yacht, and with his little twenty-five horsepower outboard, he began to chug away, resembling a tugboat pulling a battleship. Soon, the yacht and the little boat disappeared towards the marina. We were still adrift, being blown further from safety.

But about forty-five minutes later, to our utter amazement, the little old man and his wife returned. They tossed us a line and proceeded to tow our small boat back to the dock. I was overwhelmed by their willingness to go so far out of their way to help complete strangers. Their kindness was a gift I would never forget.

By this point, we were fast friends with both the yacht owner and the elderly couple, bonded by the shared adventures of the weekend. We helped the yacht owner load his boat onto its trailer, and then we assisted the elderly couple with their small aluminum boat. As fate would have it, the old gentleman had left his car lights on, and his battery was dead. My dad, ever prepared, pulled out his jumper cables and jump-started their car. Finally, we all helped secure our boats onto our trailers.

The entire drive home was filled with laughter as we recounted the weekend’s escapades. “What goes around really does comes around,” I thought. I had finally witnessed my father’s mantra in action. It might have taken me a while, but this was a life lesson I could no longer ignore. It was a profound experience that solidified the truth of reciprocity and kindness.

Kirt R. Saville

Kirt Saville, BYU School of Music Director, sharing a personal story about the principle of “what goes around comes around” and the power of service.

What is True Service? Beyond Planned Acts

In 2013, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf eloquently stated, “A favorite saying of mine often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi reads, ‘Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.’ Implicit in this saying is the understanding that often the most powerful sermons are unspoken.” This resonates deeply with my father’s example. His actions spoke volumes, often louder than any words could. When my behavior fell short, and I tried to charm my way out of it, my father would simply shake his head and say, “Son, your actions are speaking so loud I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” For him, genuine service was about action, not just intention. His life taught me several crucial principles about service:

Service should be given with joy and without expectation of reward. True kindness is freely given, not transactional.
Opportunities for service are often missed because we are not looking. We must be attentive to the needs around us.
Service is rarely convenient. It often requires interrupting our own plans and stepping outside our comfort zone.
Service frequently occurs when we are focused on other things. The most impactful acts of service can be spontaneous and unexpected.
Service will, in its own way and time, come back around. The universe has a way of balancing kindness and generosity.

Interruptions as Divine Appointments: Lessons from the Savior

These principles are straightforward, but I want to emphasize one in particular: service often happens when we are on our way to do something else. While planned service is commendable, I believe the Savior exemplified a higher form of service – service in the midst of life’s journey. Christ frequently blessed others when He was en route to fulfill other purposes.

Consider the parable of the Good Samaritan. Wasn’t the Samaritan on his own journey when he encountered the wounded man? He had to intentionally interrupt his travel to offer aid. In contrast, the Levite and the priest chose to ignore the injured man, passing by on the other side, prioritizing their own schedules and destinations over compassion.

Another example, found in Mark 10, illustrates this point further. Jesus was teaching about marriage when He was interrupted by people bringing children to Him for blessings. The disciples, focused on what they perceived as more important matters, rebuked those bringing the children. However, Mark 10:14 recounts Jesus’s reaction: “But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” This interruption became a profound teaching moment in Christ’s ministry, highlighting the importance of children and their place in God’s kingdom.

Matthew 9 provides another powerful illustration of a day filled with interruptions in Christ’s ministry. While teaching his disciples, Jesus was approached by a ruler who pleaded for his daughter, who had just died. “My daughter is even now dead,” the ruler said, “but come and lay thy hand upon her, and she shall live.” (Matthew 9:18). Jesus, without hesitation, arose and followed him.

On his way to the ruler’s house, another interruption occurred. A woman suffering from a long-term illness touched the hem of his garment, believing she would be healed. Jesus stopped, acknowledged her faith, and healed her. He then continued to the ruler’s home and raised the ruler’s daughter from the dead.

Even after these miraculous events, as Jesus departed, two blind men followed him, crying out for mercy. Jesus, again, paused his journey, and healed them because of their unwavering faith. And as they left that place, people brought to him a man who was mute and demon-possessed. Jesus healed him, and the man could speak again.

Christ’s ministry was a constant stream of interruptions. Yet, in each instance, He willingly paused His intended tasks to address the immediate needs of those around Him. He saw those whom others overlooked, and He interrupted His plans to bless those who needed His loving touch. These were not deviations from His mission; they were His mission unfolding in real-time, demonstrating that true service often lies in embracing the unplanned moments of human connection.

The Law of Restoration: Reaping What You Sow

“Do a good turn daily. Pay it back. You reap what you sow. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What goes around comes around.” These sayings, while varied, all point to a fundamental principle of reciprocity. This concept is mirrored in the teachings of Alma to his son Corianton in the Book of Mormon. Alma explained the meaning of “restoration,” correcting Corianton’s misguided belief that one could act wrongly and later be simply restored to a state of goodness without consequence. Alma taught:

“Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again. For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all.” (Alma 41:14–15).

My father’s “what goes around comes around” and Alma’s “law of restoration” are essentially the same principle. The life you live, the actions you take, will, in essence, be reflected back to you. Mercy begets mercy, righteous judgment begets righteous judgment, and consistent goodness begets goodness in return. This is not a simplistic formula for immediate reward, but a deeper truth about the interconnectedness of our actions and their consequences, both for ourselves and for the world around us.

This principle extends to all aspects of our interactions. If you desire friendship, be a friend. If you seek mercy, show mercy. If you long for forgiveness, forgive others. If you crave kindness, be kind. If you want respect, respect others. We are all imperfect, navigating our own challenges and weaknesses. But one powerful way to overcome these imperfections is to share our strengths and virtues with others. These acts of giving, no matter how small, will inevitably return to us, often amplified. With each act of kindness, our capacity for that virtue grows stronger and more resilient.

Life will undoubtedly present challenges. The return of good for good may not be immediate or in the form we expect. But the promise remains: in some way, at some time, goodness extended will circle back to you, often in greater measure than you initially gave. King Benjamin, another prophet in the Book of Mormon, assured his people that obedience to God’s commandments brings immediate blessings. While the timing and form may vary, the principle of divine law remains constant.

Do not lose heart when life seems unfair or when acts of kindness appear to go unrewarded. There is inherent hope and a promise that a life of goodness is, in itself, a profound reward. Doctrine and Covenants 130:20–21, a scripture from latter-day revelation, beautifully articulates this:

“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.”

“What goes around comes around” is not just a folksy saying; it is an echo of this eternal law. It’s about aligning ourselves with the principles of kindness, service, and love, understanding that these actions create a ripple effect that ultimately enriches our own lives and the lives of those around us.

Simple Acts, Profound Impact: Being a Bucket Filler

How does this principle apply to our daily lives, whether on a university campus or in the broader world? We may not always have grand opportunities for service, like jump-starting a yacht in a secluded cove. But we are surrounded by countless smaller, yet equally significant, opportunities. A simple smile and a genuine “hello” to a stranger on campus, especially to someone who seems downcast or burdened, can be a powerful act of service. A smile can indeed turn a frown upside down.

We might not be able to refill someone’s gas tank, but many around us, and perhaps ourselves, are running on emotional fumes by the end of the day. Offering words of encouragement, expressing confidence in a struggling classmate, or simply listening with empathy can be incredibly revitalizing acts of service. These small gestures of kindness are the fuel that keeps us going.

Many years ago, my wife gave our family a memorable object lesson during a family home evening. Using two buckets – one full of water, one empty – and empty cups for each of us, she illustrated how easily we can deplete someone’s emotional bucket with unkind words. Then, she invited us to fill each other’s cups by saying something kind. With each compliment, she added water to both the giver’s and receiver’s cups. This simple activity beautifully demonstrated how easily we can drain or fill someone’s emotional bucket and, importantly, how in filling another’s bucket, we also fill our own.

President Gordon B. Hinckley wisely observed: “I have discovered that life is not a series of great heroic acts. Life at its best is a matter of consistent goodness and decency, doing without fanfare that which needed to be done when it needed to be done. I have observed that it is not the geniuses that make the difference in this world. I have observed that the work of the world is done largely by men and women of ordinary talent who have worked in an extraordinary manner.” Consistent, small acts of kindness, performed without seeking recognition, are the building blocks of a good life and a better world.

John C. Maxwell, a renowned leadership expert, succinctly put it: “Doing the right thing daily compounds over time.” Just as small investments grow over time, so do small acts of kindness, creating a cumulative positive impact that is far greater than the sum of its parts.

Our family has always cherished the classic Christmas movie It’s a Wonderful Life. The protagonist, George Bailey, dreams of escaping his small town and seeing the world. However, life circumstances lead him to sacrifice his dreams for the good of his community. Throughout the movie, George performs countless acts of service, often unseen and unacknowledged. The film’s poignant climax reveals the profound impact of his seemingly ordinary life, demonstrating how the good we do truly does come back to us, often in unexpected and heartwarming ways. The town rallies to rescue George, and he realizes that he has, indeed, lived a wonderful life, not because of grand achievements, but because of countless small acts of kindness and service.

The kingdom of God, and indeed, a better world, is built upon these small and simple things. Alma 37:6 reminds us, “Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.” We don’t need to perform monumental deeds to make a difference. We simply need to strive to be a little better each day, reaching out to serve in small ways: offering a word of encouragement, holding a door open, performing random acts of kindness, sharing a reassuring smile, or simply being present and attentive to those around us.

Learning to See the Invisible: Overcoming Indifference

My father possessed a remarkable ability to see those in need whom others overlooked. How could so many people drive past the stranded motorist, while my father, on the opposite side of a divided highway, noticed him instantly? How did he spot the man waving for help on the distant shore when I saw only water and my own fishing line? It was as if he had a heightened sense of awareness, a compassion that made the invisible visible to him.

Have you ever felt invisible? In a crowded room, it’s easy to feel unseen, especially amidst those who seem to command attention. Even in a community like a university, with thousands of students, feelings of invisibility are common. It’s easy to feel like no one sees the real you, the vulnerable, insecure, and sometimes anxious you, the you who needs someone to believe in them, the person stranded on the side of the road while the world rushes by.

In our increasingly digital world, the habit of constant cell phone engagement can inadvertently make those around us invisible. While we aim to stay connected with our online networks, we risk shutting out the physical world and the people within it. If our eyes are glued to a screen, we miss the subtle cues of human need. We cannot offer service if we fail to see those who need it.

Ferris Bueller famously said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” This applies to seeing the needs of others as well. We must intentionally look up from our screens, look around, and truly see the people around us, recognizing their needs and opportunities for service.

A Lifetime of Love and Service: A Continuous Cycle

The hymn “Because I Have Been Given Much” beautifully encapsulates the principles we’ve discussed. It reminds us that with blessings come responsibilities, and that true gratitude is expressed through sharing our gifts with others:

Because I have been given much, I too must give;
Because of thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live
I shall divide my gifts from thee
With ev’ry brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care,
I cannot see another’s lack and I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,
My roof’s safe shelter overhead,
That he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love, dear Lord,
I’ll share thy love again, according to thy word.
I shall give love to those in need;
I’ll show that love by word and deed:
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

Witnessing our own children extend kindness and generosity to strangers has been one of the greatest joys of parenthood. It reflects the very essence of Christ’s love for each of us. Bringing people to Christ is fundamentally about sharing His love with our fellow human beings. And this love is expressed through action, through service, and through seeing and responding to the needs of others.

In conclusion, let us remember these key principles:

See the Unseen: Cultivate the ability to see those who are often overlooked, those who are struggling, and those who need encouragement.
Embrace Interruptions: Be willing to pause our own agendas and plans to offer service when opportunities arise, understanding that these interruptions can be divine appointments.
Act Through Love: Let love be the driving force behind our service. The more love we give, the more our capacity to love expands, creating a continuous cycle of giving and receiving.

I testify that the more love we give, the more love will return to us. “Do a good turn daily. Pay it back. You reap what you sow. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored.” Be a bucket filler. Live by the principle: what goes around comes around.

I express my deepest gratitude for my parents, whose examples of love and service continue to guide me. Their legacy is a constant source of strength and inspiration.

May we all strive to see the unseen, lift up those who are struggling, and share God’s love by loving and serving our fellow human beings. In doing so, we not only bless others but also heal ourselves and draw closer to the perfect love of God. Of this divine love, I bear my humble witness, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

References

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “First Presidency Message: A Word for the Hesitant Missionary,” Ensign, February 2013.
See Luke 10:30–37.
Mark 10:13.
Mark 10:14; see also verse 15.
See Matthew 9:18–33.
Matthew 9:18–19.
Matthew 9:32.
Alma 41:14–15; emphasis added.
See Ether 12:27.
See Mosiah 2:24.
Alma 41:15.
Gordon B. Hinckley, One Bright Shining Hope: Messages for Women from Gordon B. Hinckley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2006), 24; quoted in Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Gordon B. Hinckley (Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2016), 191–92.
John C. Maxwell, quoted on The John Maxwell Company Facebook page, facebook.com/TheJohnMaxwellCompany/posts/1083460228372443.
IMDB’s page for quotes for Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986), imdb.com/title/tt0091042/quotes.
“Because I Have Been Given Much,” Hymns, 2002, no. 219.
Alma 41:15.
After I had served my mission, my parents returned to full activity in the Church, and we were sealed together as a family shortly thereafter.