The “husband stitch,” also known as the “daddy stitch,” is an outdated and unethical medical practice. It involves placing an extra stitch during vaginal repair after childbirth, supposedly to tighten the vagina and enhance sexual pleasure for the male partner. Experts widely condemn this practice as medically unnecessary, objectifying, and potentially harmful.
The Origin and Problematic History of the Husband Stitch
The history of the husband stitch is steeped in problematic and sexist attitudes. It reflects a time when women’s bodies were often viewed as primarily for the pleasure of men. While concrete data is lacking, anecdotal evidence suggests that the practice was more common in the past. However, its existence, whether frequent or rare, represents a violation of patient autonomy and informed consent. The idea of improving sexual pleasure for the male partner at the expense of the birthing person is deeply unethical.
Why the Husband Stitch is Considered Medical Malpractice
The husband stitch is now largely considered medical malpractice for several reasons:
- Lack of Medical Necessity: There is no medical justification for the extra stitch. Vaginal repair after childbirth should focus on proper healing and function, not on altering anatomy for sexual purposes.
- Lack of Informed Consent: The practice is often performed without the birthing person’s knowledge or consent, violating their right to make decisions about their own body. As Harkins recalls from her own experience, “The doctor said it to him. Not to me… I was just lying there like a lump.” This lack of communication is a fundamental breach of medical ethics.
- Potential for Harm: The extra stitch can lead to pain, discomfort, dyspareunia (painful intercourse), and other complications. It can also cause psychological distress and damage the birthing person’s self-esteem. Tightening the vagina beyond its natural state can lead to a loss of sensitivity, making sexual activity painful and unpleasant, therefore counteracting the initial intention.
- Objectification: The husband stitch reinforces the objectification of women’s bodies and perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes. It sends the message that a woman’s primary role is to provide sexual pleasure for her partner, disregarding her own needs and desires.
Vaginal Tearing and Episiotomies: Understanding the Context
Vaginal tearing during childbirth is common, and its severity determines the course of treatment, often including stitches. Similarly, an episiotomy, a surgical cut made in the perineum to widen the vaginal opening during delivery, may also require stitches for repair. The husband stitch is essentially an additional stitch beyond what is medically necessary for these repairs. It is crucial to distinguish between necessary medical procedures and unnecessary alterations performed without consent.
The Husband Stitch: Myth or Reality?
While some consider the husband stitch to be an urban legend or a joke, many birthing people have reported experiencing it firsthand. Despite a lack of scientific studies quantifying its prevalence, the accounts of those who have undergone the procedure are very real. This discrepancy can be attributed to several factors:
- Underreporting: Birthing people may be unaware that the extra stitch was performed. Or, if they suspect it, they may be hesitant to report it due to shame, embarrassment, or fear of reprisal.
- Lack of Documentation: The husband stitch is unlikely to be explicitly documented in medical records.
- Changing Medical Practices: As awareness of the ethical and medical concerns surrounding the practice grows, it is becoming less common.
The Importance of Informed Consent and Patient Advocacy
The issue of the husband stitch highlights the importance of informed consent, patient advocacy, and respectful communication between healthcare providers and birthing people. All medical procedures should be thoroughly explained, and the birthing person should have the right to refuse any intervention they do not want.
It’s vital for birthing people to be their own advocates and to ask questions about any procedures being performed on them. If you have concerns about the husband stitch or any other aspect of your prenatal or postnatal care, it’s crucial to speak with your healthcare provider and seek a second opinion if necessary. It’s also important to remember that you have the right to report any instances of unethical or substandard care.
The husband stitch is a relic of a bygone era, and it has no place in modern medical practice. By raising awareness and advocating for patient rights, we can help ensure that all birthing people receive the respectful and ethical care they deserve.
