Most people tell a lie now and then. It might be a small, harmless fib to spare someone’s feelings or a slight exaggeration to avoid an uncomfortable situation. However, when lying becomes a frequent habit, and other signs emerge, it could point to a deeper issue: pathological lying.
A pathological liar doesn’t just lie occasionally; they may feel an overwhelming urge to do so. They struggle to stop, even when it causes them distress, puts them in danger, or damages their relationships, career, or daily life. This behavior often begins in adolescence or early adulthood.
Defining a Pathological Liar
While not a formal mental health diagnosis in the DSM-5, pathological lying is a recognized concept in psychology. It’s often linked to disordered thinking and beliefs. The term “pathological” suggests an underlying pathology or illness. Therefore, pathological liar signs are frequently associated with other mental health conditions.
The term “pseudologia fantastica” was coined by psychiatrist Anton Delbrück in 1891 to describe pathological lying. This condition is also referred to as mythomania or morbid lying. Delbrück’s original definition emphasized the disproportionate nature of the lies, stating they were “entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view, [which] may be extensive and very complicated, manifesting over a period of years or even a lifetime.”
Modern researchers have refined this definition. A 2020 study characterized pathological lying as “a persistent, pervasive, and often compulsive pattern of excessive lying behavior that leads to clinically significant impairment of functioning in social, occupational, or other areas; causes marked distress; poses a risk to the self or others; and occurs for longer than six months.” The study also revealed that 8 to 13 percent of individuals identify as pathological liars or are identified as such by others.
Key Facts About Pathological Lying
Some experts define pathological lying as telling five or more lies daily, consistently, for over six months.
Person with crossed fingers, a common gesture associated with lying
Alt text: A person with their fingers crossed, a common symbol associated with dishonesty and lying, representing the deceptive nature of pathological lying.
10 Common Signs of a Pathological Liar
How can you identify a pathological liar? Constant lying and fabricating stories are the most obvious signs. Here are ten typical signs observed in young adults:
- Elaborating lies with excessive details: They weave intricate stories to make their lies seem more believable.
- Sharing dramatic and unlikely stories: Their tales are often far-fetched and sensational.
- Appearing anxious while speaking: They might fidget, sweat, or show other signs of nervousness.
- Becoming defensive when questioned about inconsistencies: They react strongly to being challenged about their lies.
- Frequently changing their story or being evasive: Their narratives shift, and they avoid direct answers.
- Lying even when there’s no apparent reason: They lie even when the truth wouldn’t have negative consequences.
- Seeming unconcerned about getting caught: They display a lack of worry about the consequences of their lies.
- Experiencing a “high” from successful deception: They feel a sense of excitement or satisfaction when they get away with lying.
- Presenting someone else’s story as their own: They plagiarize experiences and claim them as their own.
- Actions contradicting their words: Their behavior doesn’t align with what they say.
Pathological liars may lie for a specific purpose or randomly. The impact of their lies, including the distress and potential danger they cause, is crucial. For instance, a pathological liar might misrepresent their suicidal thoughts during therapy, putting themselves at risk.
How to Determine If Someone Is a Pathological Liar
The Survey of Pathological Lying Behaviors (SPL) is a tool used to assess pathological lying. This questionnaire consists of nine questions about lying habits, with answers rated on a scale from 1 to 7 (1 = strongly disagree, 7 = strongly agree). However, there’s always a chance that a pathological liar might answer dishonestly.
Polygraph tests, or lie detectors, can also help identify signs of pathological lying. In these cases, the polygraph is used not to detect individual lies but to assess how well the person can deceive the test. If someone lies, but the polygraph doesn’t register it, it may indicate that they’ve become skilled at lying or genuinely believe they are telling the truth.
Do pathological liars believe their own lies? Many experts believe that they do. They may have repeated the lies so often that they start to feel real. Pathological liars often inhabit a fantasy world they’ve created, where their “truth” becomes their reality.
Startling Statistics
According to research in Psychiatric Research & Clinical Practice, pathological liar tendencies typically surface between the ages of 10 and 20.
Differentiating Pathological Lying from Other Forms of Deception
Not all lying is pathological. Several types of lying share similar symptoms with pathological liar signs. These include:
- White liar: Someone who tells small lies to protect others’ feelings.
- Occasional liar: Someone who lies to make themselves look better or to get what they want.
- Habitual liar: Someone who has developed a habit of lying because it seems easier than telling the truth.
- Compulsive liar: Someone who experiences a “high” when they get away with lying, similar to an addiction.
- Prolific liar: Someone who lies frequently but doesn’t feel as much distress or perceive as much danger as pathological liars.
Regardless of the classification, frequent lying often indicates underlying mental health issues and a lack of safety in being truthful. Imaging studies suggest that the brains of pathological liars differ from those of others.
The Impact of Pathological Lying on Relationships
It’s no surprise that pathological liars often struggle with relationships. Early in a relationship, their partners often sense that something isn’t right. Over time, constant deception leads to frustration, anger, hurt, and confusion.
Building trust with a pathological liar can be extremely challenging, if not impossible. It can feel like gaslighting, where you constantly question your own perception of reality. Pathological or compulsive lying can also be a feature of abusive relationship patterns.
Deception often damages trust, especially when used to conceal a transgression.
Drew Curtis, PhD, and Christian Hart, PhD Psychiatric Research and Clinical Practice journal
Uncovering the Reasons Behind Pathological Lying
Pathological lying is often linked to mental health disorders and underlying issues.
Lying as a Compulsion or Habit
Lying can become compulsive, similar to the compulsions experienced by individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder. A study in Nature Neuroscience showed that repeated lying makes it easier to continue lying. The study described lying as a “slippery slope” where small lies can escalate into larger ones.
Personality Disorders and Pathological Lying
Pathological or compulsive lying can also be a symptom of antisocial personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals with these disorders may lie to gain sympathy, improve their social standing, or maintain a false self-image. It can also be associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD), where lying serves as a way to avoid rejection or abandonment.
Lies Associated with Munchausen Syndrome
Individuals with Munchausen syndrome by proxy, a mental health disorder, may engage in frequent lying for a specific purpose related to their condition. They may lie about their own or someone else’s (like a child or patient) illness.
The Role of Childhood Trauma
In some cases, pathological lying can stem from childhood trauma, such as neglect or abuse. Individuals who experienced unmet needs in childhood might start lying as a coping mechanism to gain the love and reassurance they lacked. They might also internalize the idea that they are unworthy of love and lie to conceal perceived flaws.
Navigating Interactions with a Pathological Liar: Dos and Don’ts
If you know someone who frequently lies, here are some strategies for dealing with this behavior:
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Don’t expect them to admit to lying, even with proof. They will likely stick to their story regardless.
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Don’t take it personally; remember the behavior stems from an underlying mental health issue.
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Don’t rely on eye contact as an indicator of truthfulness; they may believe their lies or be accustomed to lying while maintaining eye contact.
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Don’t lose your temper, as this could trigger defensiveness and more lying.
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Do trust your instincts and validate your reality, seeking confirmation from others if needed.
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Do pay attention to their actions rather than just their words, as their behavior can reveal the truth.
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Do set boundaries regarding what you’re willing to tolerate in the relationship, and be prepared to distance yourself if the lying persists and they are unwilling to change.
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Do encourage them to seek therapy to understand the reasons behind their lying. Consider therapy for yourself to establish healthy boundaries.
Treatment for the Underlying Causes of Pathological Lying
To effectively change pathological lying, it’s essential to address the root mental health issues driving the behavior. Therapy can help individuals understand their lying patterns and motivations. It can also help them develop the desire to change and practice healthier communication skills.
Therapy can help uncover childhood trauma and replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with new skills for self-regulation and self-expression. A supportive environment that values honesty and openness can help build authentic connections with themselves and with peers and mentors.
Key Takeaways
- Pathological lying is not a formal mental health diagnosis, but it indicates an underlying issue or illness.
- It’s defined as lying five or more times daily, consistently, for over six months.
- Different types of lying share similar signs, including habitual lying, white lying, and compulsive lying.
- Childhood trauma and unmet needs can contribute to pathological lying.
- Therapy can help individuals understand their lying patterns, address underlying mental health disorders, and heal from childhood traumas.
Frequently Asked Questions About Pathological Lying
How can you tell if someone is a pathological liar?
Common signs include fabricating dramatic stories, constantly changing their story, lying for no reason, claiming someone else’s story as their own, and becoming defensive when confronted.
What are 5 signs that someone is lying?
Feeling overwhelmed indicates that a person’s resources or resilience are not equal to the stressors they are experiencing. Lifestyle changes, self-care exercises, and support from a mental health professional can help build resilience and give you more tools for dealing with overwhelm.
What mental illness causes pathological lying?
Pathological liar signs can be symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and Munchausen syndrome by proxy.
What is the difference between a compulsive liar and a pathological liar?
One difference is that compulsive liars have no particular reason for their lying, while pathological lying is less random.
What drives a pathological liar?
Underlying mental health issues such as personality disorders, other mental disorders, and childhood trauma can catalyze pathological lying. They use lying as a misguided way to get the social status, acceptance, or sympathy they crave.
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