This morning, I engaged with a group of leaders deeply invested in shaping their company culture. Representing various offices across the UK, they were keen to explore how to foster a positive and inclusive environment. Their insights sparked some thought-provoking reflections.
One leader pointed out the common trajectory to leadership positions, often driven by revenue generation rather than expertise in “people management.” The assumption is that leaders should inherently understand the human element, which isn’t always the case. Another leader, whom I’ll call Grace, highlighted a crucial perspective. When asked about the desired culture, a senior leader expressed the wish for a workplace where “anyone can walk through the door and feel comfortable.” Grace believed that this should be a fundamental understanding for everyone in the business – the importance of feeling comfortable being oneself at work.
While the prevalence of this understanding remains debatable, it’s encouraging to hear someone champion it as a baseline. It’s my belief that genuine culture change doesn’t stem from dictating specific behaviors. It arises when individuals recognize the personal benefits of the change, particularly the creation of a psychologically safe workplace.
However, the most impactful takeaway was Sandy’s definition of What Is Banter. When asked for a definition, Sandy described it as “it’s how people engage with each other at work.” This simple yet profound statement encapsulates the essence of banter. Considering how frequently teenagers use the term (often accompanied by “LOL”), it applies not only to the workplace but also to schools, universities, bars, restaurants, and virtually any social setting.
I then inquired whether banter is inherently light-hearted. A colleague astutely responded, “that’s certainly the intention.” Our discussion shifted to the critical importance of impact over intent in workplace behavior. The actual effect something has is what truly matters.
While eliminating banter is neither feasible nor desirable, particularly given our goal of fostering an inclusive workplace, we must cultivate greater awareness of its impact. The group’s primary question was “how do we become more aware of the impact on others?” This question should be at the forefront of any successful people leader’s mind.
Becoming more attuned to the impact of actions (including what is banter) on others involves:
- Self-awareness: Concentrating on one’s own behavior, as individuals are unlikely to express their feelings to someone who consistently has a negative effect on them.
- Creating Open Dialogue: Establishing opportunities for open conversations about feelings and, crucially, actively listening – not as a stressed problem-solver, but as someone genuinely curious and eager to understand.
- Embracing Diversity: Recognizing and appreciating that individuals react differently to the same stimulus.
If leaders prioritize self-awareness, foster open communication, and embrace diverse perspectives, banter will evolve into a positive and empowering form of engagement. It will truly become “how we engage with each other at work” in a constructive way. Conversely, if these elements are neglected, banter may remain “how we engage with each other at work,” but with the potential to create problems.
