Grace. It’s a word often used, especially in religious contexts, but do we truly grasp its profound meaning? At its heart, grace is a concept that defies our everyday understanding of fairness and reciprocity. It’s about receiving something good, not because we deserve it, but simply because it is freely given. This exploration delves into the depths of grace, particularly drawing from theologian Paul Zahl’s insightful definition to illuminate what grace truly is and why it matters.
Defining Grace: More Than Just Unconditional Love
Paul Zahl, in his book One-Way Love, offers a powerful definition that cuts to the core of grace. He states:
Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable…. The cliché definition of grace is “unconditional love.” It is a true cliché, for it is a good description of the thing. Let’s go a little further, though. Grace is a love that has nothing to do with you, the beloved. It has everything and only to do with the lover. Grace is irrational in the sense that it has nothing to do with weights and measures. It has nothing to do with my intrinsic qualities or so-called “gifts” (whatever they may be). It reflects a decision on the part of the giver, the one who loves, in relation to the receiver, the one who is loved, that negates any qualifications the receiver may personally hold…. Grace is one-way love.
This definition unpacks several critical aspects of grace. Firstly, it emphasizes that grace is one-way love. It’s not a transaction or a reciprocal agreement. It flows in a single direction, from the giver to the receiver, irrespective of the receiver’s merits or actions. Secondly, grace is unmerited favor. It’s love extended even when we are “unlovable,” when we have “nothing to give in return.” This challenges our natural inclination to believe we must earn love or deserve kindness. Grace, in its purest form, disregards this notion entirely.
The Radical Nature of Grace: Giving to the Undeserving
The radical nature of grace becomes even clearer when we see it in action. Religious texts, particularly the Gospels, illustrate this vividly through the actions of Jesus. He consistently extended grace to those considered outcasts and sinners – “prostitutes, tax collectors, half-breeds.” These were individuals on the fringes of society, deemed unworthy by the religious and social norms of the time. Yet, they were the very people who received Jesus’s most compassionate welcome and abundant grace.
This is what some might call a “divine vulgarity” of grace. It doesn’t play it safe; it’s “recklessly generous, uncomfortably promiscuous.” Grace doesn’t operate on a system of rewards and punishments, “sticks, carrots, or time cards.” It’s not about keeping score or demanding repayment. As Robert Capon aptly puts it, “Grace works without requiring anything on our part. It’s not expensive. It’s not even cheap. It’s free.”
Grace defies our innate sense of fairness and logic. It’s not about what we’ve earned, our merit, or what we deserve. Instead, it’s a “liberating contradiction between what we deserve and what we get.” Grace is, in essence, “unconditional acceptance given to an undeserving person by an unobligated giver.” It’s one-way love in its most potent and transformative form.
Grace in Everyday Life: Moments of One-Way Love
While often discussed in theological contexts, glimpses of grace appear in our everyday lives. Think about moments when you experienced unexpected leniency or undeserved kindness. Perhaps a friend forgave a hurtful comment without retaliation. Maybe a parent offered understanding after a mistake, or a teacher granted an extension when it wasn’t strictly warranted. These instances, when someone “let you off the hook when you least expected or deserved it,” are echoes of grace in our human interactions.
Consider the love within strong relationships, especially marriage. Often, the foundation of lasting love is built upon moments of one-way love – extending forgiveness, understanding, and support even when it’s not “deserved” in the moment. It’s about breaking the “chain of quid pro quo,” where everything is transactional and conditional.
When we experience and extend one-way love, “all sorts of wonderful things can happen.” It inspires generosity, kindness, and loyalty. It fosters a space where people feel accepted and valued, not for what they do, but for who they are. This is because grace “removes any and all requirement to change or produce” in order to be loved and accepted.
Why We Resist Grace: Suspicion and Control
Despite its beauty and life-giving nature, we often resist grace. This resistance stems from a fundamental human tendency – suspicion and a desire for control. “By nature, we are suspicious of promises that seem too good to be true.” We question the motives behind excessive generosity. We’ve become accustomed to a world of fine print and hidden agendas, making pure, unadulterated grace seem almost unbelievable.
Grace challenges our sense of justice and fairness. It feels “implausible and unfair” because it disrupts the systems of merit and deservingness we are familiar with. It “turns the tables on us, relieving us of our precious sense of control.” We like to feel we are in control of our relationships and outcomes, that our efforts directly correlate to our rewards. Grace undermines this illusion of control.
Robert Capon articulates the “prayer of the grace-averse heart” poignantly:
Restore to us, Preacher, the comfort of merit and demerit. Prove for us that there is at least something we can do, that we are still, at whatever dim recess of our nature, the masters of our relationships. Tell us, Prophet, that in spite of all our nights of losing, there will yet be one redeeming card of our very own to fill the inside straight we have so long and so earnestly tried to draw to. But whatever you do, do not preach grace… We insist on being reckoned with. Give us something, anything; but spare us the indignity of this indiscriminate acceptance.
This highlights our deep-seated desire to earn, to deserve, to be in control. Grace, with its “indiscriminate acceptance,” feels undignified because it strips us of this perceived control and self-reliance.
The Transforming Power of Grace: Freedom and Hope
However, embracing grace is not about indignity; it’s about liberation. “The deepest knowledge is the knowledge of grace.” It’s understanding the “seemingly chaotic, cavalier nature of God’s too-good-to-be-true, one-way love.” It’s recognizing that we are connected to a love that persists even in our failures and shortcomings.
The message of grace, especially in the context of the Gospel, is “the news we have been waiting for all our lives.” It offers hope in a world often characterized by hype and disappointment. Grace, through figures like Jesus, “came to liberate us from the weight of having to make it on our own, from the demand to measure up.” It frees us “from the burden to get it all right, from the obligation to fix ourselves, find ourselves, and free ourselves.”
When we truly grasp grace, it is transformative. “Once this good news grips your heart, it changes everything.” It releases us from the exhausting pursuit of perfection and the pressure to “hold it all together.” Instead of exhaustion, we can find energy and freedom.
Grace is not just a theological concept; it’s a “counterintuitive reality” that is “expectation-wrecking, smile-creating.” It’s like a “roller coaster” – initially terrifying because it takes us out of control, but ultimately exhilarating and joyful. It brings us back to a childlike state of wonder and trust.
Ultimately, grace, this one-way love, offers “inexhaustible hope and joy for an exhausted world.” It’s a gift freely given, waiting to be accepted, promising a ride that “never gets old,” a source of constant renewal and liberation. Understanding What Is Grace is not just an intellectual exercise; it’s an invitation to experience a love that truly sets us free.
