Many define middle age by numbers, but it is so much more. It’s a period of life often marked by significant transitions, re-evaluations, and a shift in perspective. The author’s personal journey offers a compelling exploration of what it means to navigate this stage, drawing insights from Carl Jung’s theories on the stages of life.
The Inexorable Inner Process: Turning Inward
Jung believed that as we enter middle age, it becomes not only acceptable but essential to turn our attention inward. As Jung wrote in his 1931 essay “The Stages of Life,” “For a young person it is almost a sin, or at least a danger, to be too preoccupied with himself; but for the aging person it is a duty and necessity to devote serious attention to himself.” This isn’t about narcissism, but rather about aligning the life we thought we were living with the life we are actually living.
The author’s experiences echo this sentiment. Despite achieving significant milestones like the birth of a second child and the publication of a first book, she felt a sense of emptiness. This incongruence, coupled with challenges like substance use disorder during Covid-19 isolation, prompted a deep self-examination.
Confronting Difficult Truths: A Journey of Healing
This period of introspection led to a commitment to therapy, a 12-step sobriety program, and ongoing emotional work. The result was a more honest understanding of the author’s identity, past experiences, and coping mechanisms.
While the journey of self-discovery is ongoing, the author emphasizes that it is a “nonlinear, lifelong process.” It requires continued effort and vigilance, and can often be described as a “midlife crisis,” or as Jung describes, an “inexorable inner process” that “enforces the contraction of life.”
The Setting Sun: Reassessing Values and Beliefs
Jung uses the metaphor of the sun rising and setting to describe the course of our lives. What was valuable and true in the morning of our lives may no longer be so in the afternoon.
“We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning; for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true will in evening have become a lie,” he writes.
For the author, this meant re-evaluating long-held beliefs. As the child of immigrant parents, she was taught to assimilate and conform to societal expectations. While this strategy led to success in her career, she began to question its continued relevance. Reading Bianca Mabute-Louie’s Unassimilable: An Asian Diasporic Manifesto for the 21st Century challenged her perspective and prompted her to reconsider the value of assimilation.
Letting Go: Embracing the Golden Hour
Ultimately, middle age presents an opportunity to let go of what no longer serves us and embrace new priorities. The author no longer feels the need to chase more success and recognition. Instead, she desires to spend time with loved ones, pursue creative hobbies without pressure, and make room for others to learn and grow.
As Jung writes, “After having lavished its light upon the world, the sun withdraws its rays in order to illuminate itself.” Instead of clinging to the past or refusing to stand down, the author chooses to luxuriate in the “golden hour before sunset,” embracing the new view that middle age offers.
Middle age is a time of reassessment, reflection, and growth. It’s a chance to align our lives with our true selves and to embrace the next chapter with intention and purpose.
