“Brat” used to be a word nobody wanted to be associated with, conjuring images of spoiled, entitled, and snobby children. Growing up, being called a brat was an insult, the opposite of being praised for being polite, appreciative, and grateful. Like many parents, I constantly worry about inadvertently fostering “brattiness” in my own daughter when she displays a hint of defiance or ungratefulness.
So, when “Brat Summer” started trending across social media, my interest was immediately piqued. This wasn’t just about reclaiming a negative word; “Brat Summer” aims to redefine “brat” as a symbol of strength and empowerment, particularly for young women.
But what does Brat Summer actually mean, and how did this trend emerge in the summer of 2024? The answer lies with pop star Charli XCX and her aptly titled album, Brat. Her music, lyrics, and overall artistic direction are central to understanding the movement. Charli XCX has effectively taken ownership of the term, transforming its derogatory connotations into an anthem for girls to unapologetically embrace their true selves.
The Brat album delves into the experiences of a 30-something navigating the complexities of life, acknowledging the imperfections and messiness inherent in that journey. This raw honesty resonates deeply across generations, explaining its popularity with both younger adults and teenagers.
Beyond the music, “Brat Summer” has evolved into a distinct aesthetic. Think casual meets edgy: shorts paired with leather jackets, the resurgence of acid-washed jeans, smudged eyeliner, and sunglasses worn indoors – all accented with a signature splash of lime green.
While my 9-year-old daughter is a dedicated Swiftie, I appreciate the introduction of “Brat Summer” as a counterpoint to the often-prevalent “good girl” stereotype. Growing up, my own musical tastes spanned from Debbie Gibson to Madonna, a duality that reflects the multifaceted nature of identity. Parenting is about guiding my daughter to discover her authentic self, her passions, and her community.
I want her to confidently forge her own path, independent of peer pressure. While I hope her Swiftie enthusiasm endures, I also welcome the influence of edgier, unfiltered, bolder, and yes, even “messier” role models – the essence of the “brat” archetype in its reimagined form.
However, as a parent, the question lingered: is it truly okay to encourage my daughter to embrace being a “brat,” even with this modern interpretation? Are there potential downsides? And are there alternative approaches to cultivate self-esteem and confidence? The answer, as with most parenting dilemmas, is nuanced.
The Potential Pitfalls of Embracing “Brat Summer”
Nicholette Leanza, LPPC-S, a therapist at LifeStance Health, cautions against the uncritical adoption of the “brat” label, especially for children. She highlights the risk of it fostering a “hedonistic attitude of ‘I can do what I want when I want.’” Leanza emphasizes the crucial role of parents in balancing self-expression with empathy: “It’s important that parents help balance this by teaching that it’s OK to speak their mind and be assertive as long as it’s not disrespectful or dismissive of others. This folds nicely into parents teaching empathy to help their child recognize how their actions may affect others.”
Ultimately, the key takeaway is distinguishing between confidence and entitlement. “Brat Summer,” in its most empowering sense, should champion confidence and self-assuredness, not devolve into entitlement or disregard for others.
Dr. Jenn Mann, PsyD, a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist and author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy Confident Kids, reinforces this point by reminding parents of the word’s deeply rooted negative connotations. “Calling your child a brat is not empowering, and at the heart of what children become is what their parents tell them that they are,” she explains. “You don’t want to be unconsciously programming your child to believe they are the traditional sense of a brat.” The language we use to describe our children profoundly shapes their self-perception.
Harnessing “Brat Summer” Positively for Parenting
Despite the potential pitfalls, the core concept of “Brat Summer” can be reframed as a valuable parenting approach when applied mindfully. Dr. Mann points out that societal pressures often push girls towards “people-pleasing,” prioritizing the needs and opinions of others over their own.
“Teaching the contrary is an empowering move that helps create your own healthy version of ‘brat girl summer’ for your child,” Dr. Mann suggests. “It’s something that should be integrated into all parenting, especially parenting young girls.” This involves actively encouraging girls to prioritize their own voices and needs.
Leanza echoes this sentiment, recognizing the “brat” trend’s potential to foster unique self-expression and self-advocacy. “It makes me think of the famous quote, ‘Well-behaved women rarely make history,’” Leanza notes. “That encourages women to be outspoken and challenge societal expectations of being the ‘good girl.’” “Brat Summer” can be seen as a playful, pop-culture-infused way to encourage girls to break free from limiting stereotypes.
Perhaps our understanding of “brat” has been too narrow for too long. While fully embracing a positive connotation may take time, the underlying message of self-empowerment and unapologetic self-acceptance championed by Charli XCX is undeniably valuable, not just for my daughter but for myself as well.
However, the recent backlash against Taylor Swift by some self-proclaimed “Brat Summer” enthusiasts highlights the importance of responsible interpretation. When some Charli XCX fans launched a “hate” campaign against Taylor Swift, including disturbing chants at concerts, Charli XCX swiftly condemned this behavior on her Instagram. She emphasized that such actions were “the opposite of what I want” and incompatible with the intended community spirit of “Brat Summer,” underscoring the values of tolerance, love, and support.
This incident serves as a crucial reminder: “Brat Summer,” at its heart, is about empowerment and self-expression, not about tearing others down. From pop stars to parents to teenagers navigating self-discovery, embracing the positive “brat” vibes this summer can be a powerful step towards self-acceptance and challenging limiting norms, as long as it’s grounded in respect and empathy.
